Yessss I’m closing in on the day when I can squash my humans too and not just smaller dogs! I weighed 62lbs this week (or 28kg).
I realize I’m not a good blog-puppy but there’s so many other things to do and chew, they steal my attention!
Since I last blogged I have:
Visited some old rocks my humans told me are ruins of some old Abbey. I climbed on them and I was alloved to?! That made it all less interesting.
Sadly I didn’t find any fox piss to roll in today, so I had to go back in the car smelling very boring 😦
Another day we went to this other grass area (Foots Cray Meadows), I had agreed to meet Bella and Vinnie there to let our humans socialize and play. My humans are quite unsociable so I want them to get used to seeing other people more often and leave the house more! I try to show them what to do, like, jumping towards other humans and make them interact but they don’t seem very interested.
Vinnie is my half brother and he is a lot bigger than me! I had told Bella about my brothers and sisters that are 3 months older than me but she didn’t believe me when I said how big they are.
I always get told off for smashing Bella, but look! Here’s proof! It’s just because she’s a girl and I’m noisy I get all the blame!
I have to act hard because I’m the governor of Thamesmead, but I don’t like being chewed on either! ….ok, maybe a little bit, so I got an excuse to SMAAAAAASSSSSHHHHH!
Later on I told her to GET OFFFFFFF ARGHHHHH and her human snapped this unfortunate picture of me, I don’t like getting caught in the act:
Bella told Vinnie to “Lunch” me and he listened!! What!
Faceplant, I told Vinnie, FACEPLANT!!
We found the little river again and I GOT SO EXCITED. It moves all nicely, and feels funny on my feet. And you can drink from it! And play in it! And push other dogs in it! Can it get any more awesome! Even Vinnie, who’s humans said he doesn’t go in the water, had a massive splash about and even stuck his head under! We were both hyper and tried to convince Bella to join, but she was just being girly boring, standing on the bank and refereeing us!
I’ve also been socializing the humans along the Thames. Sometimes I let them off the lead if they are behaving nicely. The retards are so slow, one is always lagging behind and I constantly have to make sure they are where they need to be.
They never pay attention to me, I even found some nice white bread on the pavement I just snatched up and snacked on and they didn’t even see it!
I’m still working on the sofa project. It’s not going very well. I have to space out my attempts now, to avoid the naughty step. I am clever though, I have figured out if I don’t try the same thing twice in a row then I don’t get a timeout! Moahaha!
Just checking that the nursery home next door is quiet enough and that our neighbour isn’t screaming too loud at her son. God, that woman can scream, I’m glad I don’t live in that house!
Even though I’ve had a minor setback with the sofa, I’m currently very successful in my other project which I have named “Garden control”. I only allow the humans to be out there during specific times but they try to sneak out there all the time to play with the hose or other silly things like the plants, the shovel etc. I jump on them from behind and bark as loud and scary as possible and snap my mouth at them, trying to scare them! Tell them not to mess about in my garden!
They are fighting me though. Hard breed of humans this, wouldn’t recommend them to a first time human owner! Very stubborn. Normally I end up at the naughty step when I do this so I have to time it carefully so I get to run around and around and around them before they manage to catch me.
After puppy class last night we drove to a different house, and I figured out Bella lives there! I got to play in the garden, tried to flatten her again and do the deathshake to her neck, but I wasn’t alloved. Very boring. I liked her garden though, very big and lots of grass to run around on!
Oh! Just something scary before I finish off. During our walk the other day I saw to lady-dogs fight! Amagad!! I nearly pissed myself, don’t tell anyone! Jesus christ, I though we were all gonna die! They just brawled together like to males, it wasn’t very lady like. Lots of snarling and teeth waving though and I don’t think anyone got hurt. Except my mental state! I didn’t know what to do so I ran and hid behind my humans legs and they laughed at me!